Agra is an amazing city that perhaps best epitomises the whole of India. Nestled in amongst some of the worst slums, messiest streets and poorest people sits some of the most amazing architecture in the world. We spent the best part of a day seeing it all but I suspect we could have spent a lot longer if we had the time. Our first major stop was the Agra Fort (Lal Qila). This was unfortunate actually because we found out later our ticket would have been free had we done it last. Never mind, it was well worth it. This walled palace actually contains several huge buildings across its sprawling, well-kept grounds. The site of the fort has been round for nearly a millennium, however the majority of the building we see today was completed in 1573 with extensive modifications carried out in the 1600's. It is incredible to see it in such good condition after so many years. The buildings have all been tastefully and thoughtfully designed using red sandstone and white marble. After seeing all the intricate gold and gemstone inlays and the amazing carving, it is not difficult to see how it took 4000 workers eight years just to get it to the state it was in by 1573! There is also some pretty impressive engineering, considering when it was built. They had a water wheel set up that fed water from the river into three large copper tanks on the roof of the palaces. These tanks then fed water all around the buildings to supply bathrooms, kitchens and even fountains. Doesn't sound that amazing perhaps until you remember that this wasn't done in a wood frame house, where you can just gib over all your plumbing. The extensive supply lines were all carved into marble! Even the copper fountains had all been permanently embedded in the tonnes of white marble. Amazing stuff.
Just down the river and in view from Agra Fort sits what is billed as the "greatest monument to love ever built". Representing the pinnacle of Mughal architecture, the Taj Mahal really is one of those things you need to see with your own eyes. It is absolutely exquisite. The grounds are excellent, the entrance gates and surrounding buildings are perfectly matched and the building itself is stunning. Made almost entirely of brilliant white marble, the exterior and interior are also decorated with incredible inlay and carving work. With the architecture or other sights that we've seen up to this point (Angkor Wat excluded), once we've done the walk around and checked it all out, we're off, having seen enough. After having a good look around the entire grounds at the Taj Mahal, we sat down on the nicely manicured lawns for the remainder of the afternoon and watched the sun set on the masterpiece before us. Haha, romantic eh?
Then it was out the West Gate and back to the other side of Agra. Ten seconds after having walked out the gate, three loaded up camels wandered past us on the street. Just up the road there was a group of twenty or so people dancing and jumping around to the beat of a drum and a lady carrying a massive pile of wood... on her head. Next to that there was a guy pissing on the wall of a building and two more spitting. The guys spit everywhere, all the time, because they chew this stuff that leaves their teeth stained red and rotting. Looks like they've been punched in the mouth when they smile. The ladies must love it. This is one crazy, crazy place.
The Delhi Belly 12-hour Weight Loss Express Programme
Are you sick and tired of fad diets that just dont work? Well forget Aitkens, forget Weight Watchers and forget that one where you eat cabbage for a month that was in the New Weekly, have I got the weight loss system for you! The Delhi Belly 12-hour Weight Loss Express Programme can be purchased for the price of a cheap curry and a lassi in a dirty glass, just follow these 5 simple steps and you will be guaranteed to loose at least 2-3kg in the space of 12 hours! (Individual results may vary).
Preparation:
1. The day before the diet eat as much dodgy curry and drink from as many dirty glasses as you can. This can be done easily and cheaply enough at most Indian food outlets.
2. Make sure there is a clear path between your bed and the bathroom, preferably a short, straight line.
Method:
1. At 5am sharp, report to the bathroom to begin the programme.
2. Your stomach will begin to evacuate all food matter and bodily fluids from your system, prepare for simultaneous expulsions from multiple exits.
3. Splash some water on your face and mutter some inaudible profanities about India and curry.
4. Crawl back to your bed, spend the next 30-40 minutes drifting in and out of sleep/hallucinations about Dr Suess books.
5. Repeat steps 2 through 4 until 5:30 that evening.
Optional:
After step 3 mumble to a friend or acquaintance that it would be just grand if they went out and got you a water or a lemonade (Thanks Marcus!).
After this little experience I was so dehydrated that I couldn't even sweat! Lucky it only lasted a short time!
Jaipur
After our day lost to the diet we went to get on a bus for Jaipur. The guy selling the tickets said he had a friend driving down in a car, it would only be 40 extra ruppees and would be 2 hours faster, + we wouldnt have to worry about our luggage going walkies. Sounded good so we jumped in a car (a tiny Honda City type thing which everyone who has a car here drives) along with Fillipo an Italian dude going the same way. Well, we pulled out of the depot and straight into a parade, I think some Hindu celebration. This stopped traffic completely, and it was a busy day. Our driver decided that he wasnt waiting so he started going the wrong way down the other side of the road, along with some other traffic. There was a police officer stopping all the traffic going the wrong way who went absolutely ballistic at our driver, I mean he just lost the plot and screamed, our driver in turn just screamed back at him. So now all the other traffic had started going the wrong way, and there we were, turned around going the right way into a throng of cars going the wrong way being yelled at by this cop. Long story short it took nearly 90 minutes to go 1km, entertaining none the less! So we thought the drama was over and started to nod off. Our driver would have none of this and must have been determined to make up the lost time. He had the foot down the whole way, he would speed right up to the back of a truck, sit on the horn, slow down at the last minute until the truck gave him a few centimetres then he would swing out and pass. More often than not there would be a vehicle coming the other way who we would avoid by a matter of centimetres and split seconds. During the whole trip I thought we were certain to crash 4 times, and once I seriously thought we were going to die as the car with all four wheels locked up slid into a head-on with two buses, also with the brakes locked. God, Shiva, Ganeesh or someone must have been watching as we somehow slid through a slight gap between one of the buses and the median barrier.
After our little adventure we had a happening Saturday night in Jaipur which consisted of dinner then writing our dairies on the roof of our hotel and bed at 10pm (this place has no night life). Next day (today) we decided to wander the city and check out the sights. There is the original town here which is semi walled off. It's called the pink city, but that seems to have slipped a little in past years as I would call the colour "dirty peach". The walk there revealed more of the dire poverty that exists here, the footpaths here are used as toilets, rubbish bins and somewhere to sleep and live! There are so many beggars who are really persistent, the problem is you can give one some rupees but a few seconds later there will be another one tugging your sleeve. At times you get a bit pissed of being the walking dollar sign, it seems everyone is trying to either sell you something, beg from you or rob you. But if you look how many of people here live and the lack of opportunity they have, you can hardly blame them!
Anyway Ghandi... The old city was quite cool, lots of little shops. We saw a tower that our guidebook said you could climb. After walking through a back alley through a parking lot and asking someone it turned out that the entrance was an un-marked, non-descript door next to a building supply shop! The view from the top was worth it though. After that we ran into some guys who just wanted to talk to foreigners and try their English. Felt a bit bad as at first gave them the usual brush-off, but they were quite informative and showed us some of the palaces. We ran into one old guy who was nuts (like seriously crazy in the coconut). He followed us for 10 minutes yelling at us to give him a cigarette and grabbing us! It was the most annoying run-in we've had yet and if I was at home I would have knocked him over after a bit, but that's not the done thing here, luckily he finally found someone else to yell at and we escaped.
After lunch we thought it would be fun to climb 2km up a hill in 40 degree heat to Tiger Fort, the old fort and Maharaja's palace of the city. Was a hot steep climb but worth it as the views were awesome! There were plenty of old battlements to climb and we went for a look in the palace where a guy showed us round. Basically the Maharajah lived there with his 9 wives, lucky bugger. Each wife/queen had their own apartment which were all linked by this one passage the Maharajah used when he was on the prowl. Much of the painting there had hidden patterns from the Khama Sutra which our guide enthusiastically pointed out to us, I wont go into detail on here though.
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