"The one that got away"... and other clichés

Before I crack into this one, a quick update on the “Obamarama” situation. Currently, the number one song in Uganda is “Obama, Real African Hero”. It’s an awful reggae-pop song, yet so sickeningly catchy I cant stop singing it! Maybe it’s some kind of subliminal-brainwashing propaganda, or maybe not. All I know is that he really is an African hero…

Nile Fishing

My closest neighbor (50kms away!) is Andy, a mad Zimbabwean who spends his days running fishing trips on the Nile or roaring round the national park on his dirt bike. The nice thing about having a friend with a boat is that I got to go out fishing for free!

One of the many things I love about Africa is that you can do regular things as you would at home, like fishing for example, but it’s always a different experience. The two of us went out for the day on a dinghy boat armed with a full cooler of beer, some rods and a can of sweet-corn. That’s the regular part. The difference was the fact that the boat was usually surrounded by hippos (which were twice the size of the boat!), gigantic crocodiles, and the fish we were trying to catch were literally sea-monsters!

We started out fishing for “bait”, which consisted of using small rods and the sweet corn and pulling in some Tetra. Tetra are nothing special; grey, standard fish shape, about yay long. Once we had enough of these in the bucket, we hooked them whole onto the big rods, dropped a few lines and pulled up on the bank.

After testing a few more bottles of beer, the line on one of the rods started whizzing out. Andy gave me the honors, so I took the rod and started doing battle. I’ve never really caught a big fish before, and this thing was a fricken monster! Once it realised that the tasty tetra in its mouth was attached to a fishing rod, the line started flying out and the rod bent double. The fish jumped a few times and it really was gargantuan, Andy reckoned at least 20kgs. At this point I would love to show you a photo of me with a beaming grin, struggling to hold the weight of the big fish I had caught. Unfortunately after about 20 minutes and just when I had him closeish to shore, he got away… Dang.

Funnily enough halfway through my aquatic escapade there was a big splash about 10 meters down the bank that I didn’t really register at the time. Afterwards I asked Andy what it was. “Just a croc goin’ in mate”. Bloody ‘ell, crocs scare the shit out of me! I am very glad I didn’t see that one!

So, the one that got away… Fortunately later in the day I got “a small one”, but I was still stoked (note the beaming grin)…

"Goooood Fiiiish"

I love hippos, they make this snorting laugh sound across the water, kind of a “Ha Ha Ha Ha Haaaaaaa” it’s like they’re laughing at you when you’re struggling to catch fish!. So, because Im a bit short on content this time, Im going to bombard you with some happy happy hippo pics for a bit.

So that's why it's called "The Wet Season"

I hardly saw a drop of rain in my first three months here. This was because the weather gods were saving it all up for one big drop. It became apparent the other day when I got caught in a flash flood in the van and ended up sliding backwards down a hill that the wet season was indeed upon us! I’ve been in the monsoon a couple of times in Asia, but even that was nothing compared to the rain here. It comes in at pace, it can be sunny one minute (Warning! Cliché Alert!), then day turns to night, quite literally and the sky explodes. You can walk outside and be drenched in a second, there don’t seem to be rain drops, just a sheet of water coming from the sky. I have also never heard thunder like this. When it’s overhead, it doesn’t bang or rumble, it just makes this horrific ripping sound that... cuts to the bone!.

With the wet season comes a whole new army of bugs and beasties. My current nemesis is the Tsetse Fly.

They work on the same principles as mosquitoes, they want my blood. If one was to compare mosquitoes to Ninja Warriors, flying in stealthily, landing quietly and sucking your blood. Then that would make Tsetse Flies Kamikaze Bombers. There’s no discretion involved. They pick their target and come in full-speed, teeth first. They hurt like buggery and like to go at your face and neck. If that’s not bad enough I’m sure they have some racist streak in them as they seem to like me much more than the local lads!

Also with the wet season I’ve had a few “guests” taking refuge in my cabin. I used to remove all the creepy crawlies, but now as long as they don’t jump in bed with me I don’t really mind. In fact I’ve grown kinda fond of some of them…

Stanley

Stanley’s been here since the start. He likes to hang out in the toilet which is a little disconcerting, but he keeps to himself and controls the bug population. The other night I awoke to the sound of my guitar playing itself – which was a little creepy until I got a light on and realised that Stanley had decided to take a walk along the strings!

Hendrix

Hendrix prefers to hang in the shower. For a long time Hendrix had a buddy called Hagrid, until last week when I found Hagrid belly-up in a bucket of water. I blame the global financial climate.

Paco

Paco has been living in my verandah roof since it started raining. I figure he must go out to eat at some point, either that or he’s eating all of Stanley’s potential mating partners.

Esmaralda

Esmaralda only really dropped in for a day, but I thought seeing as she was so damn pretty she was worth a mention.

The Evil Cobra

This guy doesn’t get a nice name. What I can tell you is that it is a highly venomous black cobra, about 8 feet long. I was back at the house in Entebbe and first saw him as I walked out the back door with an armful of washing. He was up on his belly, hood out with his tongue flicking. I only stopped to see what the dog was growling at, peered round from behind my pile of clothes and saw this guy about 2 meters away. Fortunately I think he was just as shocked to see me, and by the time Id gone in to get my camera he was trying to make a quick exit around the side of the house.

So that’s that for this month. If you actually read this far you’ve probably concluded that all I really did was go fishing once and spent the rest of the time doing rain dances, talking to lizards and paying homage to Lord Obama. What can I say? Beats living in the real world!