A Wedding on a Wedensday!

Welcome to the Jungle

After a six hour bus ride from Chiang Mai to Chiang Khong we arrived at the banks of the Mehkong River. A quick boat trip across the brown waters with yet another moaning Pom (no offence to our UK readers but most of them seem to be complaining about something when we meet them) put us in our first destination in Laos, Huay Xai. We spent the night there, as the boats that transport travellers (and locals, although they sit in the engine room and probably pay 10% of what we do) leave in the morning.

We started our next day bright and early, with a run in the smoggy morning air. Unfortunately, there is a lot of pollution in these parts, especially at this time of year, and it just leaves a grey haze everywhere you look. After a bit of brekkie we caught our slow boat for Luang Prabang. There was also a fast boat option but apparently fatalities are common when the river is low (which it certainly is at the moment). We did actually see a few operating, although they were mainly a bit further south. The slow boat is a two day journey (six hours the first day and nine the second day), with an overnight stop in a crazy little village. Their boats are rudimentary at best, with tiny wooden benches for seats and engines in dire need of a bit of maintenance. However, as we've come to expect in Laos, they somehow still manage to get the job done. We actually enjoyed the trip though and our boat on the second day even had more comfortable seats.

Along the way there were a few minor mishaps to keep up entertained. The tiny wooden bench seats are nailed into a piece of wood at one end and free standing at the other. Well most of them are. Apparently ours was just free standing because when Kev tried to get up to sit on the side of the boat our seat collapsed. No worries though, by the time we'd picked the seat back up there was a guy there with a hammer and a few nails. I'm guessing that's not the first time it happened. Then when we pulled up at the half way stop for the night, there didn't appear to be a place for our boat to park. We obviously both missed the two foot gap that the driver figured was plenty wide enough. So in we went with the sound of wood cracking and nails being pried loose. It worked in the end though. On the second day, just after we had left a rest stop, the driver suddenly beached the boat on the river bank. A quick look in the engine room revealed a little problem, as there was about four litres of oil sprayed all round the place, including all over some unlucky people's bags. A high pressure oil line had burst at an elbow that had clearly been "fixed" mickey mouse style in the past. So does he get out a welder, maybe a soldering iron, or perhaps a pipe joint of some description? No way, he grabs some super market bags and wraps them around the leak instead! Then he finished it off with some rubber tubing. Welcome to Laos. But yet again, somehow it held all the way to Luang Prabang.

Lauang Prabang

Lauang Prabang is the shizzle. Got in off the slowboat around 6pm and wandered round trying to find a guesthouse. Accomodation is a little more expensive here, and cos we were over walking round in the heat with our packs ended up paying a whopping $14 for a room, was nice to have a warm shower for the first time in weeks. Went out that night a had a romantic dinner for 2 down by the river. They have a row of resturants on the river all lit by candles and lanterns. The phrase "How's the serenity" was made for this place. Pushed on from there and found some bars on the other side of the "mountain". There is this hill in the middle of town that has a wat on top, really quite random but really cool. Went to a bar called Lao Lao that had the best beer garden we had ever seen, it was litterally a garden on multi levels with all these lanterns and a bonfire. Proceeded to get incredibly drunk first on "beer bombs" which is Beer Lao, 7-Up, Vodka and a local red bull type stuff and then on the 700ml bottle of whiskey we brougth for $6.

There is a law here that bars cant be open after midnight so we all got the boot at 12. The thing to do then apparently is go bowling as not officially being a bar they can get away with staying open. Mustered up 12 or so other drinkers, tuk-tuked it to the alley and proceeded to play the worst game of bowling in my life (Marcus was on fire however), think I got abt 42.

Next day after somehow getting home we drifted around LPB trying to fnid a cheaper guesthouse. Signed up at this one place and the owner Kao, came out and asked us if we wanted to go to his sister's wedding that night. So at 2pm we got in this van with some other guests from the place, and bowled drove about an hour out of town. Had a good crew, us, two Sweedish girls Camilla and Karin, Richard a English guy who had been living in Thailand, Clive an English Events Promoter Kao and has younger mate Tak. Got out of the van/truck/ute thing in this dusty wee village and then got on a boat up the Meekong to the village where the wedding was. Such a wicked spot, great view of the river and really peaceful.

That night was the pre-wedding "event" and it was just unreal. Rocked up to the main house and dumped our bags and went and had a "shower" which was a swim in the river. Came back and they had cooked us a massive feed, it even filled Marcus cos as soon as the bowls got low they filled them back up. Ate local style, a few communal bowls in the middle and you grab some sticky rice in your hand and dip it in the other dishes. We also drank local style which consisted of filling a glass with Beer Lao and ice, giving it to someone who is expected to down it in one, return the glass to be refilled (with the same ice) and given to the next person in the circle! If New Zealanders think they have a problem with a drinking culture it is nothing on Laos! The musnt see too many white folk in the village as all the local kids crowded round the windows watching us the whole time.

The "Shower"

So after eating and drinking headed outside to, and I quote "Start drinking"!!! They had this stage and tables set up and a live band which consisted of a dude on a keyboard and a singer who were pretty good. They have this whisky here called LaoLao which tastes like tequila mixed with petrol, but probably stronger than that. There was a bottle on each table and once again the process of drink and return the cup for the next guy started.

People danced to the band which was really interesting. The culture is really conservative here and at first the standard dance "the worm" was were you stood in this line and moved around painfully slowly waving your hands. The locals were stoked as that we all got up and danced. Anyway, this was abt 8pm. In the space of the next 4-6 hours the entire village proceed to get ridiculously drunk on LaoLao, everyone from the kids to the old men. The "worm" dance evolved into what would be best described as a rave or dance party and the music picked up the pace too. Marcus and I decided to finish a bottle of LaoLao which we finally managed, were congratulated and given another! Was one of the craziest nights of my life, taught all the locals the high 5 and the maori handshake.

The next day we were given breakfast which no-one could manage too much of as we had eaten so much the night before. The locals cranked the beer back out around 8am (I think some of them were still going from the night before). There was one guy the town drunk, who was staggering round the place at 9 in the morning, but was still going strong in the afternoon! They had the actual wedding in a house and then a do outside followed by even more eating and drinking. Managed to get away around 4 and back to LPB about 6. Went out for tea with Camilla and Karin but it was a pretty quiet night as we were all exhausted from the wedding.

The bride and groom

The town drunk

It was such a great experience and we were not asked for any money at all, the local people here are all so gueniinly kind and willing to help you out. One more night here then heading south to Vang Vien.

Chiang Mai and Trekking

Chiang Mai

Well it seems that the further North we get, the better Thailand gets. The people up here are incredibly friendly, the food is amazing and the weather is perfect. They also seem to have really good taste in cars up here, since there are tricked up Suzuki SJ413 jeeps everywhere (most of them are used for the 4wd tours). The vehicles everywhere in Thailand are actually surprisingly new, probably a similar age to the NZ fleet if you take out the tuk-tuks. I have never seen so many new Hiluxes anywhere else in the world.

Chiang Mai is a really cool city nestled in the hills of Northern Thailand and the city centre is surrounded by a massive moat, complete with city gates. The thing to do up here is go trekking in the hills so that's what we did (see below). The climate is ideal up here since it gets nice and hot during the day but it's still cool enough to sleep at night. It's also not as humid as down South. We found our cheapest accommodation of the trip so far, at 250 baht (about NZ$12) per night for the two of us. Cold shower and fan only but you only really need a cold shower up here and the fan does enough to keep it cool. Also had the best meal of our trip for lunch the other day, Panang curry, a noodle dish and a rice dish. All for a few notes of Monopoly money. Chiang Mai is definitely going to take some beating...

Extreme Trekking!

Ok, so it wasnt that extreme, I just wanted to use the word somewhere! Managed to hunt around and pick up a 3 day-2 night trek for 500baht under the going rate which was all good. Got underway at about 9am in the back of some ute. Had a big night on the Chang beer the night before which I have found from extensive research gives you the worst headache the next day (havent confirmed these findings as yet, may need more in-depth experimentation). After an hour of our brains bouncing around our skulls we arrived at an elephant camp. Had some lunch and then had a ride on these elephants. The route was pretty tame and pre-determined but it was still cool to ride on one, they are incredibly sure footed, although my one decided to give itself a mud-bath halfway through (with me still on it).

Started on the trek after that, we had two awesome thai guides called "James Bond" and "Smith", I think this was easier than getting us to remember thai names. They were really cool guys, James Bond had a mohawk and was covered in tats. He was a real jungle boy, every now and again he would stop the trek and climb 15 metres up a vine, or carried an injured bird 3 hours to the village. Smith was a bit quiter but was a really nice guy and spoke very good English. Our party had a French family, a Swiss couple and a Slovenian couple who were all good sorts. Went straight up a hill for the first 40 mins which was pretty tough in the 30+ heat and stopped at a bat cave. Ended up in a really cool hill-tribe village for the night. We all stayed in a 1 room bamboo guest house (they use bamboo for everything up there, from buildings to coffee cups!) which was really rad. The hill tribe people arent as authentic looking as they appear in the brochures, most of them just cruise round in jeans and t-shirts. But they are super friendly, and pretty sharp on the old guitar (it seems mandatory for each village to have a village guitar). The way they live isnt stone-aged or anything just really basic which is pretty cool. They cook over fire and most seem to make a living growing cabbages, although our guides pointed out some opium poppies in some of the more obscure points on our trek! The govt has installed some solar power boards lately so they do have electricity yet it's sole use appears to be powering the radio or TV! The people at the village put on a show that night round the fire, some of their tunes are pretty catchy.

Next day kept going and had a swim at a mint waterfall which was gold after walking in the dust and heat! Split from the bulk of the group after that as most were on a 2-day package and blasted up-hill for a few hours to the next village for the night. This village was way bigger and noisier, these hard case little kids were charging round everywhere. That night all the kids in the village put on this show of singing and dancing which was quite neat. The coolest bit was the real small kids trying to get the actions right but just waving their arms around randomly. Our favourite was this little guy below who gave up half-way through and started tearing round up the front with his mate.

Next day got back on the trail for a couple of hours, mostly a slide down hill and stopped at a rafting camp. These young dudes running the thing were great guys, took us white water rafting down some rapids which was all good and then bamboo rafting down one of the calmer bits. Had a few hours to kill after that, ended up playing takraw (foot and head volleyball) by the river with Smith and one of his mates, bloody good times.

Had to give big high 5's to our guides Bond and Smith. They did everything, got up in the morning and cooked us brekkie, full of info on the jungle and the villages, made us lunch and when we stopped for the night promptly got underway cooking tea. Great entertainers as well!

Us with "James Bond"
Slavko, Griente, "Smith" and Marcus

In Chiang Mai for one more day (going exploring on motorbikes) then heading to the border with Laos tomorrow.

This one time, in Bangkok...

Bangkok

Got in to Bangkok about 11pm local time. After preparing to be strip searched for drugs we ended up wandering straight past the customs dude and out onto the road! Straight away every Tom, Dick and Ting Tong are on you trying to get you to jump in their taxi or bus, ended up getting on a shuttle that took us straight to Khao San Rd where we planned to stay. Wandered for a bit and ended up checking in at a really nice place on a wee soi (like a street but smaller) which had a rooftop pool and our own shower/toilet in the room. Unpacked and went out to hit the town, yet by then it was about 2am and there wasnt a lot going on. Had a couple of drinks then seeing as we had been up for over 24 hours decided to call it a night.

Next day went out and had some rice for brekkie, sussed out the bus route to Ayathaya for the next day then decided to go and see the monorail in the centre of town. Flagged down a tuk-tuk and after extensive bargaining/argument with the driver got underway. Bangkok is awesome in the fact that going anywhere is an adventure. There is a blatent disregard for road rules or "health and safety" which is refreshing after coming from NZ. Basically if you're on the road and you see a gap you take it. The tuk-tuks change lanes without warning, buses and cars are everywhere and then the motorbikes (helmets optional and up to 4 people on the one bike) squeeze through the gaps (or up on to the footpath if there are no gaps on the road). Our tuk-tuk driver after a few minutes of swerving and trying to take us to his mate's shops decided that we needed to take a short-cut down a side-street. Only problem was that there were 3 lanes of traffic coming the other way, but no worries, there was a space of about 80cm so rammed the front of the tuk-tuk in and basically blocked the entire road until he got across.

So got to the monorail which had some cool views of the city and took it to the bridge over the main river. They have these barges I think full of rubbish which one small tug pulls about 4 with engine going full noise. Walked across the bridge and were amazed at the difference on the other side. It didnt smell like shit (as most of Bangkok does) and there was no-one trying to sell us anything. Sat there and watched some kids play soccer and then watched some guys playing takraw (like vollyball but you use feet and head only). Watched these guys for about 45 minutes, it was a cool environment someone was cranking some tunes in the background and they had some wicked skills to watch. Decided to head back and get on the tins so we walked home as it was rush hour traffic. Took us about an hour and a bit but highly entertaining walk. The traffic was even crazier. Stood on a bridge overlooking an intersection for ages watching the light changes. The motorcycles sit at a red light revving in anticipation for the green. As soon as the green lights up they all floor it, but on the other side there is still traffic trying to sneak through the red, so it ends up in a squeal of brakes and horns. To cap it all of in the middle of all this some dude with a bike/stall thingy cruises out to the middle of the intersection and starts setting up a food stall!

Went down Khao San Rd for a meal and a beer tower (3 litres in your own tower thingy) that night. Moved on from there to one of the street bars. Basically they all pull up in an old combi van which converts into a bar. From here they sell you "buckets" which are a litre or so of spirits mixed as a cocktail (long island ice tea etc). You grab some straws and everyone takes turn having a sip. They are pretty good value at abt $8NZ and an awesome concept.

Next morning feeling a bit hungover and short on baht we went to find some cheap brekkie, got some pad thai from a road side vendor for 20 baht which is about $0.85NZ. Had a swim in the guesthouse pool and then jumped on a local bus to get to the Northern bus station on the outskirts of the city. The bus driver must have been an ex tuk-tuk driver, he stopped only just enough to let people on and off the bus, as soon as this was done he put the foot to the floor and swerved back into the traffic weaving in and out of the lanes. The amazing thing about all this is that we haven't seen a single accident, it's a crazy system but it seems to work!

Ayathaya

We jumped on our bus, complete with reclining seats and air conditioning, to start our two hour journey to Ayathaya (one of the old capitals of Thailand). The ride cost a grand total of 50 baht each (a bit over NZ$2). It was a pretty uneventful ride compared with the other public transport so far. We saw a few massive factories for Western brands (Goodyear was probably the most well known) on the way but not much else to report.

As soon as we arrived in Ayathaya, it was obvious we were out of Bangkok. The people were friendlier, every bastard wasn't trying to sell you something and most of the stench was gone from the air. It's a bit of a shame about Bangkok really, as it ruins it a bit for the rest for Thailand. When someone comes up for a chat, you instantly assume they're trying to sell you something, since that what it's like in Bangkok. However, most of the people we've come across outside of Bangkok are incredibly friendly and quite genuine. One classic tuk-tuk driver, Mr. Winai, managed to offer us a decent enough fare for us to acquire his services from the bus stop. Upon arriving at our guest house of choice he, of course, had a sight seeing tour to offer us. However, the price wasn't too bad, he seemed like a pretty genuine guy and we had nothing else to do for the next four hours. It turned out to be a reasonable deal in the end, as he took us around several guest houses until we found one that wasn't booked and then took us on a great tour around the city to see the Wats (temples) and ruins.

Our tuk-tuk guide Mr Winai

After our tour we headed down to one of the night markets to get some dinner. These markets basically consist of several cooking stalls, with a bunch of tables and chairs out the front, all outdoors of course. Great place to have a tasty, cheap feed while enjoying the warm night air. We had fried noddle dishes for dinner and fresh fruit and coconut milk pancakes for dessert. All delicious and about the price of a beer at an NZ bar.

The following morning we booked our train tickets for Chiang Mai and played a bit of King spotting (see below). After a swim and a bit of lunch we rented some bikes. In this case we got what we paid for, they were about 30 years old, with baskets, brakes that squeaked, rather than stopped and handle bars that moved. Awesome. Ayathaya only has 80,000 people but it seems that most of them spend their time driving, as there were still plenty of madmen about on the extremely wide streets. So, out of our guest house, on to the street and first up is a three lane roundabout to negotitate. Piking out with a left turn was never really on the cards so we did what the locals do and floored it right round. What a way to start the ride! Once you get the hang of the traffic it's not actually that bad. The ordered chaos works surprisingly well. Throughout the course of the day we checked out a few sights and put in a few kms. Apparently not many tourists make it out to the expressway we were on at one point, because several people went passed honking, waving and laughing. Don't know what they were laughing at, there were four of them on one motorbike!

After dinner at our favourite spot in the night market we walked a few kms to get to the train station. During our wait, a young Thai guy (who's name turned out to be "Gob") that was sitting around with his mates plucked up the courage to try his broken English out on us. At first his mates were cracking up at him for giving it a go but before long they all wanted him to try asking us questions. So we had an hour long game of charades with a few words from each language to keep us entertained while we waited. As it turned out, we were lucky to have met him because we were about to jump on the North bound train that arrived at 7:21pm (our departure time), when he checked our tickets and told us to sit down. Of course he was right, our train ended up being about half an hour late, and him and his girlfriend waited round to make sure we got on the right one.

After getting on the train, we soon realised that we should have brought some booze on with us. There was a bit of a party atmosphere amongst the travellers (and one of the hostesses who was having a few). So we met some people from all over the place; Germany, Holland, Canada, Czech Republic, Oz and had a few drinks with them before heading off for some shut eye (we had sleeping berths). We got a pretty decent sleep, all things considered and got woken up about 6:30am, in time to sort out our stuff and jump off at Chiang Mai.

The King!

Thought we better make a special note here about the King of Thailand. This guy is the Mantis, the Mac Daddy of the country. You can't go 100m in a city without seeing the thai flag and the yellow flag with the king's crest. There's a picture of this guy up everywhere. They even chuck up massive billboards with his picture, no advertising just a pic of him. This is rather unfortunate cos he looks like an absolute dork, he has a little head and these massive glasses! I'm sure he's a nice guy as everyone loves him here. Was his birthday on Monday and half the population were wearing a yellow shirt with his crest in his honour.

We invented a game walking round Ayathaya called King Spotting. Basically if you see a picture of the king you get 1 point, 2 points for his missus who is a bit of a rarer find. Marcus took an early lead up 13-6, but then we had the power play which was a bridge in the middle of town palstered with pictures of the king and his wife which locked the scores up at 35-35 (this is in the space of about 15 minutes, I tell you he's everywhere!). Then I happened to be first to walk past a shop which sold pictures of the king! Game over pal!

Just Across the Ditch

We landed in Sydney at about 8pm and were met by our tour guide for the weekend, Lizzy "Tim-Tam" Vining. After checking out her flat in St. Leonards, we headed down to the local for a quiet beer, followed by a pizza and a bottle of NZ sav. Turned in pretty early that night, all fired up for the next day.

Day two started with a morning run (in honour of the Buller half marathoners and Coast to Coasters) down to the Harbour Bridge. Beautiful view but pretty warm to be running, despite the early start. A bit later on we headed out to The Spit where we hired some kayaks and made our way round to Chinaman's Bay. It was great swimming in the nice warm water, which apparently was too cold for any of the Aussies to bother getting in. A nice lunch overlooking the marina rounded off the afternoon's activities. The night was spent drinking down by the water at the Manly Wharf Bar.

Yet again, Lizzy had an action packed day planned for us on Sunday, starting with a ferry ride out to Watson's Bay. We went for a walk out to the Harbour Heads, then had the world's most expensive fish and chips at a beer garden on the beach. Plenty of action to watch as the new US Head of Defense was in town (got my paparazzi shot below). This meant there were SAS and Police vehicles all over the water and roads, just to get him from a car to a boat 50m away. Could've rocked up in a plain old Falcon or something, wandered on to the wharf and nobody would've known the difference. That night we had a delicious Thai meal and then wandered down to see the Harbour Bridge at night.

Kev and I spent Monday wandering round Sydney since Lizzy had to work. We made it from the Naval Base, round the waterfront, to Darling Harbour, so it was a decent wee trek. In between torrential downpours we checked out a few sights and took care of a few errands. Then we jumped on a 747 bound for Bangkok that evening.