Sex, Drugs and Fast Cars

Deutschland Part II


A trip to Germany wouldn't be complete without a stop in the capital, renowned for its mixture of history, tourist attractions and massive parties. Of course, we couldn't pass through Stuttgart without paying homage to the world's greatest car manufacturer. So on the way to Berlin we stopped for a few hours to check out the Porsche factory and museum. (Feel free to skip the next paragraph for you strange people that aren't car nuts!)

Porsche are in the process of building a new museum but unfortunately it won't be finished until sometime next year. So we had to settle for the old one, which didn't really matter since it's the cars that we came to see. And they were all there, with the highlights probably being the 356, the 959 and a couple of Carrera GTs. I even got to hear one of those bad boys start up! So that was my two hours of heaven for the day...

Anyway, on to Berlin. The weather didn't really cooperate with us for our stay here, being grey and occasionally rainy. No worries though, still able to see and do plenty. We did all the usual tourist stops (many obviously associated with the war); Checkpoint Charlie, Brandenburg Gate, the Reichstag (which houses parliament), Potsdamer Platz, the TV Tower and the two major intact sections of the Wall. Also had a couple of nice meals out and one big night on the booze, Berlin really does have a lot to offer.

We also spent a day in Potsdam, a few kms south-west of Berlin. This was the residence of the Prussian kings until 1918 so it is decked out with palaces, gardens and monuments. Clearly there was no expense spared, as each building just seemed to more impressive than the last. Luckily, despite several buildings being damaged in the war (and later torn down), there were still more than enough to see.

Last thing about Berlin that we couldn't help but notice, was the green man (walk signal at intersections). It really doesn't look like it's his arm sticking up! At first we thought it was just our dirty minds seeing this unfortunate perspective. But then we noticed shops devoted to selling everything from mugs to t-shirts with him printed on it. Anyway, we've included a picture so judge for yourself...

Amsterdam

So I know what most of you are probably thinking, Amsterdam is the worlds R18 amusement park, and we spent our week there high as kites, going to sex shows and ogling at prostitutes. But there's so much more to Amsterdam than that... or so someone told me. Lucky for us we got the sweet hook up from our good buddy Jacco and his cousin Jeron who let us crash at their place for the week (Thank you Gypsies!!!). Not only was it good having somewhere to stay but we got to see the city with locals which meant we were not subjected to the tourist sex shows or hash cafes (apparently they dont even let you in to those places if you are Dutch!).

Now it doesnt matter if you are interested or not, every visitor to Amsterdam ends up walking through the Red Light district. Just in case you live under a rock Ill explain quickly that this is the part of town where the streets are lined with windows, behind which sit women (in various states of undress) that you may purchase for a short period of time for your own personal use. Possibly the most amusing sight here however was the bus loads of middle age Asian men running round like excited school boys. "Ahhhh ,herro radies!"



On Jaccos days off we went to his parents house near a small town called Zutphen, we didnt get up to much out there but it was nice to escape Amsterdam for a couple of days and chill in the beautiful dutch countryside.



We've drunk our share of beer in the last few months so it was only fitting we should go on a tour of the Heineken brewery. Naturally we were quite excited about this yet it turned out to be a bit of a disappointment. The information and history was minimal, instead they've filled the place with several mildly amusing, brightly lit gimmicks and you only get three free small beers. Compared to the Carlsberg brewery in Copenhagen that was much cheaper, kept us entertained for hours and had more free beer, Heineken was just a bit shit, and in all honesty you're probably better off using the 11 Euro entrance fee to buy a whole crate of the stuff and a bag of chips from the shop. I know what you're thinking, "too cool for school"? Damn right, and unashamedly so!



International Wheres Wally

Recently we've noticed various consistencies in the places we visit. It doesnt matter if you're in South East Asia, downtown Japan or in Europe's most medieval city, there are some things that are always there (and Im not talking about McDs or Starbucks either). We've started to make a game out of it, if you look hard enough you can find at least one or more of the following in every city:

1. An Irish Pub
2. A Kebab shop
3. A greasy looking man of Turkish origin with slicked back hair and a gold chain.
4. An Asian tourist with a huge camera (usually found near a fountain)
5. Pigeons
6. A picture of Che Guevara
What does this tell us? One theory is that the Irish, Turkish and Japanese are planing a global socialist revolution and are communicating their secret plans via carrier pigeon. Or... we have a global love of cold beer and munching a kebab served to us by a greasy Turkish man, and Che is just so hot right now!

Achtung Baby!

After a one night stopover in Paris, we headed for zee land of zee Beer and zee Bratwurst, Deutschland. First stop Munich. Normally when we visit a new city, we hit the streets running and manage to see a good portion of it before leaving. However, despite having almost four days in Munich, we didn't end up seeing that much of it. Something got us a little sidetracked...

The Beer Festival of All Beer Festivals

We made a bit of a late call to come to Oktoberfest and since accommodation starts getting booked out about a year in advance, we struggled to find somewhere to stay. With more than enough "sorry but we've been booked for months" email replies, we decided to just rent a station wagon and sleep in the boot. Worked out pretty cheap and not that uncomfortable so it was a good option really. Plus we had a car to cruise round the autobahns in! Not just any car either. A free upgrade from the rental car company saw us kitted out German-style, in a brand new 5 series BMW with leather, sat-nav and a decent engine to boot.

On the first day of the festival we wanted to make sure we had a seat at a good tent, so we got in there not long after 7am. The doors finally opened at 9:30 and it's a minor miracle that no one had to get carted out on a stretcher after the stampede to get in. About 80% of the seats in the good tents are prebooked so it really is a mad dash to secure a table (and we had a big bunch of Kiwis so we needed two). Then, at noon they finally tap the first keg and the place goes nuts. It took about 45 mins before our beer wench managed to get us our first round of one litre steins. After that the beer arrives a bit more easily and the consumption continues long into the night. Well, long into the night if you can make it. For the festival, each brewery serves up a special batch of beer, which is actually stronger than their usual brew!

We ended up having two massive days at the festival and also a quiet walk around on our day off. The main tents are massive, seating up to 5,000 people. Over six million litres of beer are consumed over the course of the festival! It really is an impressive sight, especially seeing as it's all temporary. The place is huge and there is a never-ending sea of people (lots in lederhosen too!) jumping on the rides or downing pretzels, beer and bratwurst. Good times.

Dachau

For a bit of a break in between two days of madness at Oktoberfest, we decided to do a bit of sightseeing. So the majority of Sunday was spent beneath a cloudless sky, exploring yet another example of the only species on earth that continually aims to destroy its own kind. Situated northwest of Munich and opened in 1933, the concentration camp at Dachau was one of the first to be opened by the Nazis. It was also one of the first to be liberated by the Allied forces but not for another 12 years.

The list of atrocities committed during its existence is appalling. Prisoners of this camp (and the others that Dachau served as a model for) were malnutritioned and over worked, and that's assuming they were deemed fit enough to work. If not, they were either left to starve to death, given a lethal injection, gassed, shot or otherwise killed. As if that's not bad enough, the unluckiest prisoners of all were used for medical research purposes. The research (which often ended in death) included tests to see how the human body was affected by things like g-force, air pressure and various chemicals. Of the 200,000 prisoners that were housed here, about 35,000 didn't survive (although this was also due to disease outbreaks). Despite having four ovens in their on-site crematorium, they often still had piles of bodies just lying around. They really were killing on a grand scale and yet Dachau was small when compared with Auschwitz.

More From Bavaria

After the shenanigans of Oktoberfest we thought it would be a good idea to spend some quality time in the Bavarian Alpine region. Fortunately for us I spent a year here when I was a wee fella so had some old friends to visit. On Tuesday morning, feeling rather less lively than normal we got on the train at Munich and headed in to the hills where we met Frank and Cilly Peterhoff(cheers for everything guys, it was awesome!). When I was four years old my family did an exchange with the Peterhoffs, we lived in their house in Gaißach, Bavaria and they lived in our house in trendy Lower Hutt. I found out from Frank on this trip that the year we were living there was just after the Chernobyl disaster, a mere 2,000kms away, the effects of which were present in Bavaria - this explains a few questions I had about myself... Anyway, that evening we went and saw some more friends, the Lechners, who not only filled us up on tasty Bavarian food and beer, but hooked us up with some tickets to watch Bayern München FC the next night...

So the following night we rocked back to Munich to see our new favourite football team in action. Fortunately Bayern are the top team in the league and were playing FC Energie Cottbus who are the bottom team, no surprises that it was 5-0 in favour of Bayern so we got to see a lot of goals. Half the fun was also sitting in the rowdy fan zone, so we got to learn all the chants and songs, it's pretty amazing to see and hear 70,000 people all getting in to it! Neither of us have ever been huge soccer fans, but it's a whole lot better when you can see it live.

On our last day in Gaißach the Lechners took us up to their mountain hut just over the border in Austria (tick another country off the list!). It's a cool we cottage built into the hill about 1,300m up, where they managed to fill us with even more good food and beer!